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This is the Victim Impact Statement I planned to read
in trial, facing Bradford. Instead, I read this statement as I sat at his
gravesite on the 20th Anniversary of my kidnapping, August 10, 2010.
DENNIS BRADFORD.
I waited nineteen years, 2 months, and 3 days to find out your last name
and for you to be caught. I knew your first name was Dennis, because you
told me before you raped and attempted to murder me on August 10, 1990.
When you cut my throat from ear to ear, you assumed that I’d die, or if
I lived, I wouldn’t be able to talk. Well, you chose the wrong little
forty-five pound, eight year-old girl to try and murder because for
nineteen years, I’ve thought of you every single day and helped in
searching for you. Every year that’s passed, has given me more strength
and drive for when I finally would be face to face with you as I am today.
Some may feel sad for me that it took nineteen years to track you down,
but I’m only sad for the others that have fallen victim to you.
Wondering how you could be capable of committing such horrendous acts on
such an innocent and frail little girl as I was back on August 10, 1990,
and knowing others could be harmed by you are what has bothered me the
most all of these years. I didn’t know who you were, or where you were,
but in my heart, I KNEW you were out there, alive, either in prison or
living a lie, and now I know listening to my heart all of these years, and
never giving up on finding you, I was right. All of this time, you’ve
been living a lie, keeping your secret of who you really are…to
yourself. Every year I spent trying to find you and bring you to justice,
you spent thinking that you got away with what you did to me. You thought
you got away with creeping into the window of an apartment, lived in by a
single mother and daughter, and then kidnapping, raping, and almost
succeeding at murdering me, just an innocent little girl, peacefully
sleeping in the middle of the night, on the first night in my life I had
gone to sleep in my own bed…when I couldn’t fight to get away from
you. What a cowardly way to commit a crime. I hope you had sleepless
nights filled with nightmares, and spent every day looking over your
shoulder all of these years.
After telling me you were an undercover police officer, and telling me
your gun was in the back seat of your vehicle, and me curiously leaning
over the front seat to look into the back…I can still think back and
feel the fear I had inside of me at that very moment when you ripped my
panties off of me and laid me down in the front seat of that vehicle and
started to lick me. As an eight year-old child, I didn’t know what you
were doing, but I knew it was wrong. I knew at that moment that you
didn’t know my family, and I knew that you were NOT a police officer
like you had said. I, in my mind, tried to imagine what I could do to
escape you, because I feared for my life, but knew that I wouldn’t be
able to get away because I wouldn‘t be strong enough or fast enough. As
if putting your grown-man hands around my little neck and choking me
repeatedly and raping me wasn’t enough, you continued to play out your
nightmarish fantasy. You slit my throat and as you dragged me by my ankles
through brush and thorns, I did what came as first instinct to me…I
played dead. You thought you killed me. You thought you had won this sick
game you started. But, again, you were wrong. You left me there, in a fire
ant pile, like I was nothing. Like I was an old rag-doll you had discarded
in a field as trash after having your fun torturing her. We all know the
details, but as a reminder, for over fourteen hours, I laid there, in that
field, bleeding to death, helpless but NOT ALONE. I had angels sitting
next to me. Even though I could not scream, I could not get up, I
couldn’t do anything physically as fire ants stung me all over my
body…there was one thing I could do: pray for strength and survive.
Luckily, those prayers were answered.
The choices you made in the early morning hours of August 10, 1990 have
impacted my life, and changed me forever. Before August 10, 1990, I was a
free-spirited little girl. I can’t remember ever even being afraid or
living in fear besides always being afraid of the dark, as most children
are at that age. You changed that. By the time I was released from the
hospital, we didn’t even live in our own home anymore. You put such a
fear into myself and family, that I didn’t get to go home to the home
that I had known for almost five years. My mother and I had to move in
with my grandparents, I had to be escorted to and from school, and instead
of being my usual carefree self, I lived with anxiety and what I know now
as post-traumatic stress disorder. I didn’t know what those things were
then, I don’t even know if anyone ever explained it to me, for
sure…but looking back on it, I realize now that me not sleeping in my
own bed until fifteen, me living in fear of you coming back and hurting
myself or my mother, and me not wanting to do anything without my mother,
I wasn’t like other “normal” children, even though my mother tried
to make our life as normal as possible. When I would go in public, to the
grocery store, doctor’s appointments, or the mall, everyone, in my eyes,
was a suspect, and it’s remained that way until October 13, 2009. For
years, I’ve studied the faces of every male that would pass by, because
I was sure had I seen you, I’d recognize you. I was scared of my own
bed, scared of sleeping…scared of the dark, as a child and teenager, but
during the day, I was constantly looking for you, trying to save others
from being attacked by the person that had so viciously attacked me. The
only fear I DIDN’T have was doing anything and everything in my power to
help in capturing you.
I had nightmares for a year or so after you attacked me, and for a short
period of time can remember being afraid of men. I felt like myself and my
family had been violated, but the drive and determination in me to find
you has kept me going. Knowing one day I’d face you and know you’d
never hurt another person, has kept me going. Also, from the age of five,
my dream was to grow up, and be a mommy of eight boys. You also have
changed that dream. For years after you attacked me, I knew something was
medically wrong with me and I have gone to various doctors and I finally
found out two years ago, after undergoing tests and surgery, that my
medical issues are a result of you brutally attacking me and that it is
medically impossible for me to conceive children without help of an
infertility doctor and treatments. As a child, I can also remember locking
myself in the restroom and sitting on the bathroom counter, staring at the
long, ugly, red scar on my neck, left by you taking a knife and cutting me
from one ear to another, and asking myself what I had done for someone to
do such horrible things to me. As an elementary student at the time, and
having to have a tube down my throat for part of my 3rd grade year,
children and adults were curious and I was constantly asked questions of
what happened to me and why. How was I, as an eight year old, supposed to
answer questions that I didn’t have the answers to? Because of the tube
in my throat, I couldn’t participate in physical education like all of
the other children, but instead would sit in the nurses office for an hour
every day while the other children played. As a college student, I was
nervous walking to and from classes in the parking lots, always frightened
and worried about someone attacking or following me. I have suffered
anxiety attacks at night in past years so bad that I cannot breathe, and
sit up for hours trying to calm myself down.
But today, I sit in front of you as a twenty-eight year old woman, and
would like you to know that I am not a victim because of what happened
twenty years ago. Your plan the night of August 10, 1990, was not the same
plan that God had for me. You may have taken away my voice for a short
period of time, and you may have taken away a piece of my being and
innocence I will never get back, but you’ve never taken away my strength
or my will to survive. I have waited for this day for twenty years of my
life, and hope you now feel as weak as you made me feel all of those years
ago as a child. While you played out your fantasy on my tiny body, and
attacked me, you made me feel “this” small. Today I hope you feel
“this” small sitting in front of me, because I definitely feel like
the strong one. In life we have choices, and I made a choice early on to
not let this negative and traumatic experience define me. Instead, I
turned the attack into something positive for not only myself, but others
by using my voice to speak out against crime in hopes that myself and
other survivors will conquer crime, one voice at a time.
Dennis Bradford, I am not your victim. I am Victorious.
May 10, 2010
Early this morning, May 10, 2010, I
received a phone call that Dennis Earl Bradford, the suspect who was
arrested in October of 2009 for kidnapping, raping, and attempting to
murder me almost twenty years ago, took his own life at The Galveston
County Jail. I am shocked and disappointed at the news of Bradford
resorting to suicide, as I looked forward to facing him in the court room
this Fall, and now feel as though I was robbed of that opportunity. I can
say that I feel very blessed and grateful that I was able to find out who
attacked me all of those years ago, and that he was arrested last year,
and taken off of the streets so that he couldn’t harm anyone else. I
will continue to use my voice and advocate for other victims of crime, and
ask for you all to please keep me in your prayers as I work through making
it through this difficult time.
October 13, 2009
Thank you all for being here today, and thank you to my family, my
boyfriend, Jonathan, my amazing friends, and everyone that has been so
wonderful in supporting me throughout this long journey over the last 19
years. Above all, I'd like to thank any and everyone that has been
involved in one way or another working on my case over the years,
especially Detective Tim Cromie of the Dickinson Police Department, and
Special Agent Richard Rennison with the FBI, for all of their hard work,
and dedication over the last year and a half, and for, as promised from
day one, never giving up on my case, and for hearing my voice, and seeing
my determination. Throughout this journey, I have had two main goals,
and that was to:
1) Find the man who kidnapped, sexually assaulted, and attempted to
murder me 19 years ago, so that he could not harm anyone else.
and
2) To use my voice in telling my story to as many people as I possibly
could over the years, in hopes that I may encourage other victims of
violent crime to stand up and speak out against criminals.
Today, I can say, very proudly, that I have accomplished both of these
goals, as today, I received a phone call that an arrest in my case had
been made. And, over the last 19 years, as I've shared my story with
others, they've so willing shared their stories with me. I hope that my
case will remain as a reminder to all victims of violent crime to never
give up hope in seeking justice, no matter how long it may take, or how
hard it may be. With determination, and by using your voice to speak out,
you are capable of anything.
This event in my life 19 years ago was a tragic one, but today, 19
years later, I stand here and want you all to know, that I am okay. I am
not a victim, but instead, Victorious! To the media and public, I
appreciate your interest in my case, and thank you whole-heartedly for
keeping my case alive throughout all of these years. Now that I have
received news an arrest has been made, and while pending prosecution, I
ask that you please respect mine and my family's wishes and give us some
privacy, as the most important thing right now is seeing this case all the
way through until the end. I want this to serve as my statement, and at
this time, any future statements from me will be made in the courtroom. Once
again, thank you so much to all of you for your support, I am forever
grateful to all of you.
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